September 11, 2005


Checking.....wait! that seemed to have worked? but how? This site is slated to be shutdown or...."go inactive" was the term I'll take that as a heavenly hint to stop posting. Because of course, everything, including, is about me.

Good Morning then, and in case I don't see you? Good afternoon, Good evening, and Good Night.

That's all folks.

Posted by Tatlis at 02:14 AM | Comments (0)

September 04, 2005

Pitchfork: "R.L. Burnside Dead at 78"

Celebrated blues singer-guitarist R.L. Burnside died at St. Francis hospital in Memphis, Tennessee Thursday morning, following an almost 3 week stay. While no official cause of death has been announced, a representative from Burnside's label, Fat Possum Records, explained that he had suffered a heart attack the previous year, and "never fully recovered." Burnside was 78 years old, and is survived by his widow Alice Mae, twelve children, and multiple grandchildren.

Posted by andrewmg at 01:09 AM | Comments (0)

"There's no telling where the Lips will go from here, but it's almost beside the point -- not just the best album of 1999, The Soft Bulletin might be the best record of the entire decade."

And that earned the band 4 1/2 stars (a distinction subsequently tarnished when bestowed on 2002's Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots).

Posted by andrewmg at 12:47 AM | Comments (0)

September 01, 2005

The End...or is it?

Apparently the kind folks who run the Dartblogs server have decided to shut it down for various reasons. It looks like I won't be able to post any more, although it doesn't appear that they'll actually delete anything. This is a shame, as well as an annoyance, but I can hardly complain about having a free spot on the interblogawangospheronets for a year plus. I liked the idea of the Dartmouth alumni blog network, the Dartblogs name, etc. but given the support needed and the fact that people were doing it in their free time, it's understandable that it didn't quite work out.

In the meantime, I will be devoting my blogging efforts to my, er, brother site, Two Grim Dudes. I'm not sure if the current climate will necessitate a one- or two-blog solution, but we'll see how things pan out.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by, linked me, commented etc. Follow my internets travels to Two Grim Dudes - I'll continue the Sox/Pats talk, my always-anticipated book reviews, various erudite musings as well as a lot of nonsense.

The blogroll will travel, have no fear.

Pax vobiscum.

Posted by MRhé at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)

August 24, 2005


According to the US News and World Report on America's Colleges, Dartmouth is #9 in the nation. Nine is good, in fact, it's my lucky number. But surely that ranking can be pumped up if only one of our undergrads made it onto "The Real World". Drunken hedonism and general obnoxiousness? We are the covert training grounds for that show, baby.

The report also listed the percent of the student body involved in fraternities and sororities on campus. I've taken the liberty of adjusting them for the fact that freshmen can't rush, listing them as the percent of students in houses out of all eligible students (sophomore-senior)... a much more representative number:

Fraternities: 53%
Sororities: 45%

I hope you’re as impressed as I am. Despite all the apprehension over the Student Life Initiative, it has apparently done very little to rattle the healthy dominance of the Greek system over our institution.

In a bold move last spring, Dartmouth began providing Pizza and Soda to frat parties. But is the college doing enough to support the culture of binge drinking? I think not.

It comes as no surprise that fraternity and sorority members are heavier drinkers than their peers, have higher rates of continued alcoholism post graduation, are more likely to be injured or killed in alcohol related incidents, as well as experience or perpetuate sexual abuse in conjunction with their drinking habits. As the new self-assigned “vulnerable population”, they should be given every available resource to thrive.

So, the question is, why stop at pizza? I propose that Dartmouth be the first in the nation to set aside part of the student activities fee for an annual “keg fund”. It will revolutionize campus raging and end the hypocrisy of the administration publicly condemning what is privately winked at.

Kids will be kids.

And 1,400 college “kids” will die this year because of alcohol.
500,000 will be injured
600,000 will be assaulted
And 70,000 will be raped or sexually assaulted.

Will you drink to that?

US News and World Report
Drinking Statistics

Posted by Tatlis at 08:28 PM | Comments (0)

August 23, 2005


I just barely finished watching "Gangs of New York" and I only have one question....

How could Martin Scorsese make such a terrible movie???

I'd figure that with the budget for that film, the credentials of the all-star cast, and his own experience directing much, much better, that they could have pulled out something that didn’t make me want to drop-kick him and all the people that recommended this shit, out of an 8-story window.

What the movie lacked in character development, plot, and dialogue, it tried to compensate for in blood and guts. It was like the New York version of the 5-minute Braveheart battle sequence…over and over and over again.

Yup. He’s got an axe.
Yup he’s got a knife.
Another beheading? Yup.

Somewhere after the first two hours, countless brawls, and stabbings, I started asking myself, “What the fuck?” Soon I became completely catatonic, only coming out of my stupor long enough to warn others. Stay away. Far, far away.

Reviewer bias: Huge fan of Scorsese, Daniel Day-Lewis and even DiCaprio.

Current Status: Betrayed. Hate Cameron Diaz with a passion of a thousand suns.

A finite number of monkeys could have come up with a better tagline.

Posted by Tatlis at 04:51 AM | Comments (0)

August 21, 2005

For the ages

Who got the hooch?

Posted by Tatlis at 04:36 AM | Comments (0)

August 17, 2005

Sleepy Hollow

Idly flipping through the channels of the lackluster scene that is daytime television, I was surprised to see Collis, the Hop, and other Big Green favorites, featured behind a somber voice-over. It was the A&E “City Confidential”, a one-hour special on the Dartmouth Murders.

I knew very little about the grisly double homicide. “Murder” is not exactly a topic one discusses in between pong games and the occasional class. Clearly, in the hallowed halls of the school’s rich traditions, the bonfire and Winter Carnival are held in much higher esteem. Tours for incoming freshman, and their doting parentals don’t exactly advertise the fact either, “Everyone stick close together…we know it isn’t New York, but we’re working on that.”

On January 27, 2001, two college professors, Suzanne and Half Zantop were repeatedly stabbed to death in their home, just three miles from campus.

The media descended upon the once quiet town like hounds on the chase. They had indeed struck gold, and headlines swept the nation…most, including our own student publications, were speculating that it was a disgruntled undergrad with a bad grade, or a political message, and general hatred in their sinister heart.

There was little evidence, few communications to the claustrophobic press, and no arrests. Jack Torrance would have fit right in.

Tensions at Dartmouth were, well…tense. Documentary footage showed huddled masses of students, faces pinched from fear or more likely- the February cold. The police were called in to investigate a mysterious “blood-like” stain in the basement lounge on Mass row. Tests concluded that it was irrelevant to the case, though a clear indication that people were beginning to turn on each other.

And then the mystery began to unravel. Robert Tulloch and Jim Parker, two high school students in nearby Chelsea, Vermont, were questioned as potential purchasers of the SEAL knives (whose sheaths had been found at the Zantop residence). The boys agreed to be fingerprinted and the next day, the lab reported a match: both sets of prints were found near the bodies. But Tulloch and Parker had not waited for the discovery of what they must have already known. Their families reported that they had left in the middle of the night.

The police put out a warrant for the boys’ arrest while their classmates and the townspeople of Chelsea rallied behind the two renegades; extolling their virtues, their good grades, and the haunting fact that Parker had continually refused hunting invitations on account of not liking to see the animals get hurt. These were good boys. They were nice boys. How could they have done...that?

Why would

After a three day “man-hunt”, Tulloch and Parker were finally apprehended at a truck stop in Sturbridge Isle, MA trying to hitchhike to California.

The boys were arrested and held in custody. The evidence against them was overwhelming. Jim Parker was the first to crack and he signed a complete confession. By turning state witness against Tulloch he was able to plea-bargain for 25 years without parole. At the sentencing hearings he cried and apologized. Everyone said it looked genuine. His damning statements persuaded the mounting insanity defense for his friend, and accomplice, Robert Tulloch, to be abandoned. Tulloch also pled guilty, received life in prison, and seemed to smirk the whole time.

The little tight-knit community of Chelsea was not the first, nor the last, to be shattered by the truth.

Motive? What was their motive? Why did they do it? Why the Zantops? WHY?

Everyone wanted to know the answers. Because then, maybe, just maybe, they could make sense of something like this. Maybe then, they could avoid something like this.

Sadly, the explanation provided little comfort.

Best friends for years, the boys had decided to be partners in crime as well. Their schemes, however, were too big for the sleepy little town. They dreamt about becoming career criminals in Australia and needed an arbitrary $10,000 to get them started. Planning for months, they were going to use thievery, murder, and extortion to get what they wanted. They picked the Zantops residence randomly and approached them with a story about an environmental survey they were doing for class. Coincidently, Half Zantop, as an Earth Science professor, was the perfect candidate for such a herring and kindly invited the two into his study, to further conduct the interview.

His wife was preparing lunch and rushed in when she heard her husband scream.

They left with $340 from his wallet. They left two dead bodies.

The Administration decided to increase security (or at least the sense of it) by installing electronic locks on all the dorm buildings; the idea of key cards, which we now lovingly carry, was born.

Boston reporters Dick Lehr and Mitchell Zuckoff wrote an exposé on the case, “Judgment Ridge: The True Story Behind the Dartmouth Murders”. The book attempted to dive deep into the minds of the two teenage killers, seeking to uncover the great secret of how evil is made. It documents how the boys became friends, were in the accelerated program at school, and finally turned to the dangerous philosophies of one, Friedrich Nietzsche.

English Professor Jeffrey Hart used the Dartmouth Review to suggest that people were crying entirely too much, “I had the distinct impression that the mourners enjoyed their grief. Indeed, there seemed to be a sort of competition to see who could praise the Zantops more extravagantly and grieve more profoundly.” He concluded his tear-free essay by suggesting that none of this would have happened had the Zantops owned a gun.

Life slowly returned to normal, as life has a habit of doing. The sensational, became the past. The Zantops were replaced. And the “Dartmouth Bubble” bore out the punctures to its fragile membrane. Right?

(Those interested in further explorations of the psyche and history of murdering friends should check out the true stories of Leopold and Loeb as well as the Hollywood “Murder by Numbers”, or their kitschy US promotional title: "Murd3r 8y Num8ers", lol. Ignore the fact that Sandra Bullock is on the cover. Ryan Gosling is incredible. Seriously. I couldn’t believe it was the same actor in “The Notebook”. He shines in this much darker role.)

Posted by Tatlis at 12:58 AM | Comments (0)

August 16, 2005

In a moment of...WHAT?

To borrow from Stewie, the Dartmouth Review "made a funny”.

They cruelly open the transcript to the 2005 commencement valediction by reminding the unfortunate reader of the following dribble that the Office of Speech is no longer a Dartmouth offering.

After trying to make sense of the remarks that follow, I couldn’t agree with them more.

Don’t take our word for it:

See for yourself

Posted by Tatlis at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)

Juggling Invite

I officially invite any juggler at all, whether you're as good as Anthony Gatto, or can barely manage a shaky three ball cascade, to come to the Dartmouth Juggling Club in Hanover, NH at 7:00 PM this Friday (in the Top of the Hop). If you mention that you found out about this through rec.juggling, or my blog here, I'll buy you a beer or other beverage of your choice at 5 Olde Nugget Alley afterwards. I may even be able to put you up on a couch if you need a place to stay.

(for context, see this thread from rec.juggling)

Posted by lambda at 08:07 PM | Comments (0)

August 15, 2005

I Think I Yam

I feel like I’m discovering something completely new, making serious breakthroughs of “Discover Hollywood” proportions, and making analogies no one has ever made before. I’m probably wrong on all counts. Regardless, here are my midnight ponderings:

In the classic fairy tale “Snow-White and Rose-Red”, the two sisters are as lovely as the flowers that grow outside their home, though one is as dark as the other fair. The comparison is not lost on two modern debutante actresses, Diane Kruger and Rose Byrne (the latter even sharing names with her mythical counterpart). To men across America, the two represent the age-old Betty versus Veronica, blonde versus brunette debate. But while allegiances are made, it is interesting to see how the roles they are cast in, often play up the stereotypes of their colorings.

Diane Kruger

Rose Byrne

In “Troy”, Greek beauty Diane Kruger stars as “the face that launched a thousand ships”, while Rose Byrne is the captivating priestess who becomes Achilles’ (Brad Pitt) lover. They also starred opposite each other in the obsessive thriller “Wicker Park”, in which a jealous Alex, played by Rose Byrne, pines for the life and love of her flaxen counterpart, Lisa (Diane Kruger). Their physical contrasts are mirrored by the personalities of their characters. Jealous instead of innocent, moody over idealistic, and temperamental for passive. Maybe a preference for one or the other is more individually revealing than I had previously thought.

To tell the truth, my googling only led to Diane and Rose through a twisted set of clicking that began with my renewed crush on actor Jonathan Crombie (who played Gilbert Blythe in the "Anne of Green Gables" movies):

(SIDE NOTE- the original and cuter picture of Gilbert doesn't link well. He's older and looks much less like a pedophile’s wet dream, though I should confess to nursing many a "Newsies" crush, and at this point in my years- my fantasies would be illegal in most 50 states. Except Alabama. But we try to not talk about the South....anyway this is purely for my benefit:

And in turn, his charming good looks reminded me of actor Henry Cavillin in the recent "I Capture the Castle" (both movies were better books) who shared screen time with Rose Byrne, hence the tepid connection:

They are definitely younger versions of Paul Rudd, any combination exemplifies the “tall, dark and handsome” dream.

So it seems that I am as shallow as the men I wished to critique…blondes have not made my cut. However, I vow to change and become more open-minded...This upcoming week will be dedicated to rediscovering Golden Gods such as Brad Pitt, Paul Walker, and Matt Damon. Wish me luck in ending discrimination against blonde men everywhere and becoming an "equal opportunity" romantic.

Posted by Tatlis at 03:17 AM | Comments (0)

August 14, 2005

A Couple Couples

Wise comedian Jim Gaffigan once said "Why is it that when you are single, all you see are couples... and when you're a couple all you see are hookers?"

In that spirit, here are some of my favorite television/film/book couples and a few extremely corny puns. In no particular order:

Rogue and Gambit: Gambit, orphaned at an early age, discovers his powers of manipulating kinetic energy as a pickpocket in New Orleans. After joining the X-Men, this Cajun thief of hearts falls in love with Rogue, whose powers forbid any contact between the two. His secret guilt, her growing strength...threatens to break them apart. I may be a dork, but it’s hard to deny that the dangerous heat between these two makes the ink boil.

Scully and Mulder: I don’t know why you watched X-Files, but personally, beside the search for the truth, I was also eagerly hanging on for the conclusion of the electrifying sexual tension between the two agents. Their subdued, subtle, and constantly stifled attraction could have had the entire cabinet dedicated to its careful tracking. An understated look was often enough to be appropriately suggestive, without so much as a missing button on the suit jacket of the impeccably dressed duo.

Justin and Brian: Young-naïve-jail-bait Justin and dark-brooding-playboy Brian was either a match made in monogamy hell, sodomy heaven, or within the creative genius behind “Queer as Folk”. The raw chemistry between these two rising stars, give birth to a gay fantasy I never even knew I had. Their scenes together are some of the most openly passionate on-screen affairs, even for cable television (which is constantly pushing the erotica envelope. I mean have you seen "Nip/Tuck"?)

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy: Bless Jane Austen and the social constrains of the Victorian age that force these two characters to engage in a battle of wits that leads haughty Mr. Darcy and lively, but equally proud, Miss Bennet to eventually realize that they are perfect for each other. Verbal sparring, romance, and courtship just aren’t what they used to be.

Buffy and Spike: Let’s forgive Spike the receding hairline, the platinum Billy Idol hair, the wimpy accent, the stupid name, and the sad fact that he is not even a quarter as good looking as Angel or Riley were. Let’s forgive Buffy her whiny, neurotic, self-indulgent tendencies. And let’s forgive that by Season Six, the show was a pathetic shadow of the once smartly written teen drama it actually used to be. That being said…there was something, incredibly, undeniably, and predictably hot about Bad Boy Spike and Good Girl Buffy. They were drawn together by a lust one could really sink their teeth into. Bram Stoker would agree: Vampires are sexy.

Anne and Gilbert: I have to confess…I never got over my initial obsession with “Anne of Green Gables” and until they got married, carrot-top-evening-star-eyed Anne and charismatic-handsome-confident Gilbert, were ideal. Everyone else knew they were going to end up together, but these two were blissfully ignorant, and their many adventures were a schoolgirl’s delight. But matrimony, no matter how holy, has ruined many a good thing. The Blythes were not spared the housewife doldrums and all too soon the series began to focus on their children. Betrayed, I abandoned all interest.

runner-ups: Omar Epps and Sanaa Lathan in "Love and Basketball" based largely on the "boy-next-door...literally" aspect of the film

Posted by Tatlis at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)

Sing for your supper

These are the first lines of the first 20 I-Tunes shuffled songs. The idea is to see if you can name either title or artist for any of them. It's not meaningful. It's not a snapshot of the musical soundtrack to my day-to-day. There are no prizes for getting all 20. It's just one of those clingy-pass-me-on surveys that I have refused to get caught up in. Until today. My defenses were down, I was feeling a little weak…and so I caved in. What are you going to do about it, Turkey?

1. My baby don’t mess around because she loves me so and this I know for sure
2. I see you floating by me, I see a beautiful face, it’s pointed straight up to the smog
3. I’d love to pick you up, ‘cause you’re still a baby to me
4. Big wheels keep on turning , Carry me home to see my kin
5. Take me back into the arms I love, lead me like you did before
6. Hey, will you stay awhile, my smile will not mislead you
7. Traffic in the city turned my fate around
8. My luck was so bad I thought I used up all the luck I had
9. I wake to find no peace of mind, I said how do you live as a fugitive
10. You are my fire, the one desire
11. In the lush Virginia hills they kept her as long as they could
12. Leave me alone, I’m in control, I’m in control
13. Who do you think you are, barging in on me and my guitar?
14. I know so many places in the world, I follow the sun in my silver plane
15. There’s a big old hole, that's gone right through the sole of this old shoe
16. I want you to know, that I’m happy for you, I wish nothing but, the best, for you both
17. When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head
18. Left uninspired by the crust of railroad earth that touched the lead
19. Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer, she's a juvenile scam
20. I want to know, all there is to know about you…I want you to know, nothing about me

Maybe after a thorough examination of my music selection, you'll decide that I'm as average as this pudding:

Well at least I never claimed to be a mysterious "lone wolf". Cruelly pushing away those who get too close and causing pain to those who care the most. Leave them before they leave me. Obviously I’ve suffered in the past. This mysterious past that I will reminisce about sometimes with a torn look into the distance (ideally towards the moon), but never reveal the complete story, no matter how accommodating you’ve been. Doomed to roam, never to take root. Always alone, while “Desperado” plays in some distant background. Dark cowboy, cynical fucker, unreliable asshole.

It’s been done. I’ll stick to pudding.

Posted by Tatlis at 09:43 PM | Comments (0)

August 12, 2005

In the gutter

You know you're a horrible person when:

you find out that actor Matthew McGrory, the gentle giant from "Big Fish" died recently...and all you can think of was that the article about his passing said that he had a girlfriend and a 29 1/2 shoe size...........

Article Referenced Above

I was also contemplating titling this post "big shoes to fill" but thought it a little obvious, even for my tastes.

Posted by Tatlis at 11:37 PM | Comments (0)

Dirt Dogs

I haven't been over to Boston Dirt Dogs in a minute, but he's outdone himself with his Bellhorn updates. Check out the top two pics...hilarity will ensue.

Posted by MRhé at 12:19 PM | Comments (0)